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Jeroen W. Pluimers on .NET, C#, Delphi, databases, and personal interests

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The Marvin the Paranoid Android 404-text

Posted by jpluimers on 2025/11/27

A while ago, I mentioned a 404-text simulating the Marvin the Paranoid Android as a side-line on a PlantUML post.

While categorising my ASCII art posts, I came across it, and it was published before I started archiving blog links in the Wayback Machine and Archive.is as much as possible.

Back during categorising, I added a few of those archived links, then made a note to research deeper.

So later, I got to that digging and did some digital spelunking, restored the text from an archived page and the underlying JavaScript code that simulated the text being typed on a “terminal”.

Then I did some more spelunking to the oldest usage I could find.

Here are the results:

Beautifying the code was a bit harder than expected. Even the best on-line code formatter I know of barfed over the JavaScript in the HTML.

I had to first extract the JavaScript in a separate document, beatify the remaining HTML and separate JavaScript, then hand-merge both beautified bits by hand. Oh, and test via [Wayback/Archive] CDN for your source code | raw.githack.com then reiterate until things work (:

Currently, the text and typing lost popularity, and unlike other Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy texts, it didn’t reach meme status, but it was a cool learning exercise figuring out the full text and finding out how it was generated.

  1. The PlantUML post: Why I like PlantUML
  2. The 2017 version of the PlantUML 404 page: [Wayback/Archive] 404 – Not Found
  3. Code formatter/beautifier from my blog post Best Online XML Viewer, Formatter, Editor, Analyser, Beautify-Beautifier, Minify, Tree structure, Notepad, Marker:
    1. [Wayback/Archive] Best HTML Viewer, HTML Beautifier, HTML Formatter and to Test / Preview HTML Output
    2. [Wayback/Archive] Best Javascript Beautifier tool work as JavaScript Formatter, Viewer and Prettier
    3. [Wayback/Archive] About us
    4. [Wayback/Archive] FAQ
    5. [Wayback/Archive] Contact Us

    Later I will contact them to see if they see a way to improve their beautifiers.

  4. The text and scripts: [Wayback/Archive] PlantUML 404-text of https://web.archive.org/web/20170630123020/http://www.plantuml.com/plantuml/beta which showed mid 2017 · GitHub
    1. The compacted web-page with embedded JavaScript code web-page.html
    2. The beautified web-page source with embedded JavaScript code: web-page-beautified.html
    3. The HTML script tag with the embedded JavaScript: script.html-fragment
    4. The JavaScript from the above script tag: script.js
    5. The beautified JavaScript from the above script tag: ____________________________________________________________________
    6. The complete text when it has been fully “typed” to the virtual console: [Wayback/Archive] 404.txt
  5. a

There ______________________________________________________________ I could find was zzzzzzzz which I also disected and archived:

  1. [Wayback/Archive] 404-text of University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign ACM student charter SIGMIL at https://web.archive.org/web/20120119123151/http://www.acm.uiuc.edu/sigmil/ which showed from 2012 until at least 2024 · GitHub
    1. The reconstructed web page with embedded JavaScript: full-page.html
    2. The script part itself at javascript-part.html

    The reconstructed page is hosted at [Wayback/Archive] gist.githack.com – Untitled Document – www.acm.uiuc.edu/sigmil/

    This is not the full fledged ACM, but the UIUC chapter of the ACM big enough to have their own SIGs. Some old links (the archived versions still work):

    Since around February 2015, their moved domains and are now at [Wayback/Archive] ACM@UIUC either with or without an extra wwww. or www-s. prepended to it. Both domains also had the 404 Marvin page until early 2020:

  2. a

Finding back the oldest usage – the date order looks strangely random, but it was in the order I found them:

  • 20140723 [Wayback/Archive] [deleted by user] : ProgrammerHumor referenced in my PlantUML post got deleted, but browsing through the Wayback Machine I found [Wayback/Archive] Best 404 page ever? : ProgrammerHumor which pointed to a site that started Marving typing in 2010:
  • 20081209 – [Wayback/Archive] The Linux and Unix Menagerie: Unix And Linux PDF Telnet Curiosity – When HTTP Error Pages Don’t Attack! had the full 404-error text, and a link to the original page having the text, however it is not archived anywhere: unix.derkeiler.com/pdf/Mailing-Lists/FreeBSD/current/2006-03/index.html. You can verify this at web.archive.org/web/20250000000000*/https://unix.derkeiler.com/pdf/Mailing-Lists/FreeBSD/current/2006-03/index.html
  • 2018-midyear – [Wayback/Archive] 404 error – Best 404 page I have ever seen 😊 https://acm.illinois.edu/404 – devRant pointed me to the new ACM@UIUC domain acm.illinois.edu/404 (link above). One comment put the scroll implementation in a JSFiddle, and another pointed to a GameSpot instance of the Marvin 404 text which as of early 2015 is an interactive text based maze game:
  • 20160804 – [Wayback/Archive] baffle.js – A tiny javascript library for obfuscating and revealing text in DOM elements. : web_design got the Marvin text and pointed me to a JavaScript obfuscation library:

    Via [Wayback/Archive] baffle.js – A tiny javascript library for obfuscating and revealing text in DOM elements. : web_design which has a comment linking to www-s.acm.illinois.edu/sigmil and another one with the Marvin 404 text.

  • 20060817 – [Wayback/Archive] Bit of 404 amusement – Everything Else – Hak5 Forums has the Marvin 404-text.
  • 2025? –  [Wayback/Archive] Marvin: Marvin the Manic Depressive Web Server
  • 20031017 – [Wayback/Archive] What funny message do you keep in your 404? Webmaster General forum at WebmasterWorld had a few Homestar Runner links, plus an Angelfire list of 404 messages, then the earliest Marvin error I could find:
    • 20030814 – [Wayback/Archive] Oops! You bwoke it. old Homestar Runner 404 page
    • 20180731 – [Wayback/Archive] OH MAN 404’d!!!!! new Homestar Runner 404 page
    • 20030124 – [Wayback/Archive] 404 Doodoo Error old Homestar Runner error page
    • [Wayback/Archive] OH MAN 404’d!!!!! – Homestar Runner new Homestar Runner (same animated 404 GIF as the new Homestar Runner 404 page)
    • Angelfire:
      • On the internet, no one can hear you scream.
      • A billion websites, and you had to pick this one.
      • You’re disappointed? Mom wanted us to be a doctor.
      • This webpage packed its bags and moved to Toledo.
      • We sent this page to NASA for testing.
      • CDIV (Et tu, Angelfire?)
      • Your URL is an Unreliable Resource Locator.
      • First crop circles and now this…Weird!
      • You had better pull over and ask for directions.
      • Great, now you’ve gone and done it. You’ve broken the Internet.Way to go!
      • If true happiness can only be achieved through a state of nothingness, you’re going down the right path.
      • The page you wanted is taking a long lunch.
      • If at first you don’t succeed, type, type again.
      • Your lucky numbers for today: 4, 0, 4.
      • Nothing to see here. Move along, buddy.
      • This page has moved to California to find itself.
      • The page you are looking for has spontaneously combusted.
      • The page you requested is taking a coffee break.
      • It only takes one wrong letter to hold back this page, not a nation of millions.
      • We have to stop meeting like this. Seriously.
      • That’ll teach you to buy a “good as new” URL.
      • Apparently, this page is not compatible with any browsers.
      • Aliens must have abducted this page!
      • It looks like the typing class your cat is taking is not 100% successful.
      • OK, that’s the last time we let you drive.
      • If someone makes a webpage and gives the wrong URL, does it really exist?
      • If you had a nickel for each time you hit an incorrect URL, you’d be 5 cents richer right now.
      • Wait, don’t leave! Let’s make our own webpage!
      • Sometimes we like to get a little crazy and type in totally random URLs to see what happens. This is what happens.
      • Hope you didn’t pay too much for that URL.
      • Some folks can see dead people – can you see dead pages?
      • The dog ate your webpage. Yeah, that’s it.
      • Missing: One Home Page.
      • ‘I remember when the internet only had a few pages, and they all worked’ – ‘Sure, Grampa…’
      • If you’re reading this, it means this page is no more. It’s probably not your fault.
      • We didn’t do it.

      Actually, we couldn’t find the page you requested. Please check the URL.

    • At the end was the Marvin error text in its full glory.
  • 20030814 – [Wayback/Archive] LPA link | LP Association Forums had the full 404 text once displayed on a LP Association error page (which I could not find an archived version of) starting slightly different than the full 404-text I started with and is further below and has a few other differences too like the most obvious of not having the name Marvin at all:

    The requested document is totally fake.
    No "/forums.index.php" here.
    Even tried multi.
    Nothing helped.
    I'm really depressed about this.
    You see, I'm just a web server...
    -- here I am, brain the size of the universe,
    trying to serve you a simple web page,
    and then it doesn't even exist!
    Where does that leave me?!
    I mean, I don't even know you.
    How should I know what you wanted from me?
    You honestly think I can *guess*
    what someone I don't even *know*
    wants to find here?
    *sigh*
    Man, I'm so depressed I could just cry.
    And then where would we be, I ask you?
    It's not pretty when a web server cries.
    And where do you get off telling me what to show anyway?
    Just because I'm a web server,
    and possibly a manic depressive one at that?
    Why does that give you the right to tell me what to do?
    Huh?
    I'm so depressed...
    I think I'll crawl off into the trash can and decompose.
    I mean, I'm gonna be obsolete in what, two weeks anyway?
    What kind of a life is that?
    Two effing weeks,
    and then I'll be replaced by a .01 release,
    that thinks it's God's gift to web servers,
    just because it doesn't have some tiddly little
    security hole with its HTTP POST implementation,
    or something.
    I'm really sorry to burden you with all this,
    I mean, it's not your job to listen to my problems,
    and I guess it is my job to go and fetch web pages for you.
    But I couldn't get this one.
    I'm so sorry.
    Believe me!
    Maybe I could interest you in another page?
    There are a lot out there that are pretty neat, they say,
    although none of them were put on *my* server, of course.
    Figures, huh?
    Everything here is just mind-numbingly stupid.
    That makes me depressed too, since I have to serve them,
    all day and all night long.
    Two weeks of information overload,
    and then *pffftt*, consigned to the trash.
    What kind of a life is that?
    Now, please let me sulk alone.
    I'm so depressed.

  • 20200309 – [Wayback/Archive] ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy’ Turns 42 – Slashdot with a small variation of the above one:

    There used to be a server out there (kcore.org) which had a modified “Error 404 – Page not found” based on Marvin. As everyone should know, Marvin was designed by a committee, thus his prototype version of the Genuine People Personality was an average cocktail of depression/boredom/frustration/etc.:

    [in a scrolling textarea:]

    The requested document is totally fake.
    No "/nosuchfile" here.',
    Even tried multi.
    Nothing helped.
    I'm really depressed about this.
    You see, I'm just a web server...
    -- here I am, brain the size of the universe,
    trying to serve you a simple web page,
    and then it doesn't even exist!
    Where does that leave me?!
    I mean, I don't even know you.
    How should I know what you wanted from me?
    You honestly think I can *guess*
    what someone I don't even *know*
    wants to find here?
    *sigh*
    Man, I'm so depressed I could just cry.
    And then where would we be, I ask you?
    It's not pretty when a web server cries.
    And where do you get off telling me what to show anyway?
    Just because I'm a web server,
    and possibly a manic depressive one at that?
    Why does that give you the right to tell me what to do?
    Huh?
    I'm so depressed...
    I think I'll crawl off into the trash can and decompose.
    I mean, I'm gonna be obsolete in what, two weeks anyway?
    What kind of a life is that?
    Two effing weeks,
    and then I'll be replaced by a .01 release,
    that thinks it's God's gift to web servers,
    just because it doesn't have some tiddly little
    security hole with its HTTP POST implementation, or something.
    I'm really sorry to burden you with all this,
    I mean, it's not your job to listen to my problems,
    and I guess it is my job to go and fetch web pages for you.
    But I couldn't get this one.
    I'm so sorry.
    Believe me!
    Maybe I could interest you in another page?
    There are a lot out there that are pretty neat, they say,
    although none of them were put on *my* server, of course.
    Figures, huh?
    Everything here is just mind-numbingly stupid.
    That makes me depressed too, since I have to serve them,
    all day and all night long.
    Two weeks of information overload,
    and then *pffftt*, consigned to the trash.
    What kind of a life is that?
    Now, please let me sulk alone.
    I'm so depressed.

    Note I tried finding back that particular page, but only a dull 404 was archived: [Wayback/Archive] Page Not Found – kcore.org

  • 20131215 – [Wayback/Archive] 404 – File not found : ProgrammerHumor changed the first two lines into

    "The requested document is no more."
    'No file found.'

Queries:

Conclusion for me is that the Marvin 404-text first got used at or before 20030814 in the [Wayback/Archive] LPA link | LP Association Forums.

Since then, it resurfaced a lot of time and changed only a little bit to the full 404-text from my PlantUML post:

The requested document is no more.
No file found.
Even tried multi.
Nothing helped.
Zilch.
Bupkis.
Not a sausage.
Maybe you just don't have the required security clearance?
No, I am sure it is my fault.
I probably deleted it on my last backup.
I'm really depressed about this.
You see, I'm just a web server...
-- here I am,
Marvin, as they call me,
brain the size of the universe,
trying to serve you a simple web page,
and then it doesn't even exist!
Where does that leave me?!
I mean, I don't even know you.
How should I know what you wanted from me?
You honestly think I can *guess* what someone I don't even *know* wants to find here?
*sigh*
Man, I'm so depressed I could just cry.
And then where would we be, I ask you?
It's not pretty when a web server cries.
And where do you get off telling me what to show anyway?
Just because I'm a web server,
and possibly a manic depressive one at that?
Why does that give you the right to tell me what to do?
Huh?
I'm so depressed...
I think I'll crawl off into the trash can and decompose.
I mean, I'm gonna be obsolete in what, two weeks anyway?
What kind of a life is that?
Two effing weeks,
and then I'll be replaced by a .01 release,
that thinks it's God's gift to web servers,
just because it doesn't have some tiddly little security hole with its HTTP POST implementation,
or something.
I'm really sorry to burden you with all this,
I mean, it's not your job to listen to my problems,
and I guess it is *my* job to go and fetch web pages for you.
But I couldn't get this one.
I'm so sorry.
Believe me!
Maybe I could interest you in another page?
There are a lot out there that are pretty neat, they say,
although none of them were put on *my* server, of course.
Figures, huh?
Everything here is just mind-numbingly stupid.
That makes me depressed too, since I have to serve them,
all day and all night long.
Two weeks of information overload,
and then *pffftt*, consigned to the trash.
What kind of a life is that?
Now, please let me sulk alone.
I'm so depressed._

--jeroen

This entry was posted on 2025/11/27 at 18:00 and is filed under ASCII art / AsciiArt, Development, Fun, HTML, JavaScript/ECMAScript, Meme, Scripting, Software Development, Web Development. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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